Controversial Mrs. Claus!

I currently spend a large amount of time in a small lakeside tourist community with a population of less than 7500 people. I don’t know how things work in other relatively small communities, but here, people seem to feel it necessary to call up the local newspaper to vent their frustration and have their concerns printed. Most recently, Mrs. Claus, more specifically her attire, has been stirring up a bit of a kafuffle. At least one member of the community was greatly offended by the lack of fashion sense that Mrs. Claus seemed to display during last year’s parade (Santa and his wife arrive via fishing tug). Apparently Mrs. Claus’s apron was outdated, as was her blouse and ankle length skirt. Her cape, according to the caller, was raggedy and should be replaced with a new crimson coloured cape with fluffy white faux trim. The cap the she wore should be discarded for a trendier look, one that indicates her prominence as the wife of Santa Claus.


Needless to say, in a small town like this, such an opinion was bound to stir up trouble. Calls began flooding into the paper, and more and more comments appeared in the paper. The reindeer poop had hit the fan! The majority of the callers supported the wardrobe choices of Mrs. Claus. “She’s too busy to shop!”. “She isn’t a super model for crying out loud!!”. “We are in an economic downturn and buying a new wardrobe would simply be irresponsible!”. “If YOU want her to have a new outfit, then why don’t YOU buy her one?” The community had rallied around Mrs. Claus! One caller expressed their confidence in Mrs. Claus’s ability to look great in anything and even went so far as to suggest that she purchase a little red, leather “somethin-somethin”!


Well, this past weekend, the Santa Claus Parade came and went without a hitch. Mrs. Claus, seemingly oblivious to the controversy surrounding her attire, looked composed and lovely in clothing that was neither nasty, old, overly hip or potentially compromising.

The Problem with Puggles

I am the proud owner of a year and a half old Puggle puppy named Cosby. He is an adorable cross between a pug and a beagle and has eyes that will melt your heart. Some of his favourite things to do include chewing and swallowing socks, humping my nephew’s fleece jacket, stealing tissue paper out of the waste paper basket and tearing it to shreds, eating half and leaving the rest scattered around the house, nibbling (not chewing, but actually nibbling) on whatever clothing I or anyone else is wearing, and barking like a madman whenever he hears a doorbell ring. Now, I know that all of these things might make you think that Cosby is far from being a good dog—that there is a problem with him—but that just isn’t true. If there is a problem, the problem resides with me. Despite the fact that “The Cos” and I have gone to puppy training, I haven’t followed through with the repetition of “the rules”. It also doesn’t help that other people in my home also try to set the rules for Cosby, which really seems to screw things up. It’s hard to be my dog’s Master when others people try to be the Master as well.

So, it appears that I have my work cut out for me. Cosby is much better behaved than he was, but I still have quite a ways to go. Wish me luck!

In Need of a Laugh?

While I was surfing the web earlier, I came across some of “Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts” and I thought that I’d share some of the random ‘wisdom’ that I found. *Warning* The randomness of this humour is funnier than the actual content...but it’s still funny all the same! Enjoy!


“When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.”

“Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!”
 
"The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, 'Go ahead, do whatever you want, it's ok by me.'"
 
"Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear your partner has been turned into Dracula. Next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham! You just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, 'Think again, batman.'"
 
"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."
 
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."


Heehee...stupid, but funny! I hope you had a good laugh!

Nuit Blanche 2009

In early October, I took my two nieces with me to Nuit Blanche in Toronto. For those of you who do not know what Nuit Blance is, it is an all night celebration of art (visual art, performance art, collaborative art, music and dance) that is held in and around the downtown core. This is an exceptional night that I wait for all year long. My nieces, hearing me rave about last year’s Nuit Blanche, demanded that I take them with me this year. So, I gave in, bundled them up (much to the 16 year olds chagrin...”This coat makes me look like a giant marshmallow and I’m NOT wearing it!”), and drove the 2 hours to the city.


I was sure that my nieces wouldn’t be impressed by the evening, but I was wrong...BIG TIME! My eldest niece thought that the ‘Fabulous Four Letter Word Machine’ was an absolute riot! Spectators lined up at a computer station outside of Toronto City Hall to type whatever non-vulgar 4 letter words they could think of. Then the words were displayed on what looked like a giant computer screen stretched between the City Hall buildings, and a freaky, computer generated voice would then pronounce (or at least try to pronounce) the 4 four letter word displayed.

My youngest niece thought that the “Dirge for Dead Slang” was pretty cool. I think that this art instillation was made far more enjoyable by my youngest niece’s commentary. After briefly watching a large circle of bed sheet clad ghosts recite “dead” slang words, the 11 year old casually asserted that, and I quote, “the F-word is definitely not dead slang because I hear it all the time!”
 
The best instillation of our night (and we didn’t even cover half of the instillations) had to be the carnival rides that were set up on Bay Street, the hub of Toronto’s financial district. “Viewers” lined up for over an hour to ride the giant slide and stomach churning ride that represented the ups and downs of the financial market. Even the Carnies played a roll...they were dressed up like Bay Street Bigwigs, which had me in stitches!


I can’t wait for next year!

Oh, How I LOVE the Phrase "Economic Downturn"!

Economic downturn--what a multi-functional phrase! I’m sorry, due to the economic downturn I can’t possibly donate to your cause”. “I’m sorry that I have to lay you off, but the economic downturn...”. I can’t possibly pay you back the $50 I borrowed last week, the economic downturn...It seems to me that the “economic downturn” has become the excuse of the year. This is not to say that the economic downturn hasn’t been devastating to a huge percentage of the population, because it has been. But I have heard the term used to justify some of the stupidest behaviour. For example, take the well dressed, middle aged man sitting in a BMW SUV (I’m not dissing the vehicle...just the driver) who I watched try to get out of a parking ticket by claiming that the economic downturn made it virtually impossible for him to drop the mandatory $4 in the parking meter. Whaaaaat?


Has the term been used to the point that it has lost its significance or are we becoming so immune to the bad things in life, that we are willing to ignore their significance and toss phrases like “economic downturn” around like they are little more than half-assed excuses for poor behaviour?

Sheesh.

Gah! Christmas is Coming!

Every year I make a vow to start my Christmas shopping early, and every year I break that promise. This year will not be the exception. I figure, that by admitting my inability to be a proactive Christmas shopper, I will, in some way, feel less guilty and pathetic as I wander the shopping malls at noon on the day before Christmas Eve. Now, I KNOW that that won’t be the case. I know that I’ll still feel dumb wandering around the mall, trying to dig up something that some family member will appreciate. But at least this year, the majority of my gifts will be of the ‘homemade’ variety: photos in frames, picture albums, baked goodies and recipe books. This year hopefully, I’ll only be wandering the malls on Christmas Eve to pick up wrapping paper and name tags!


Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Good News Story: Missing Dog Treks 1,200 Miles

I was surfing the web earlier, trying to find some good news stories that I could blog about. One of the stories that I came across had to do with a little dog named Muffy. Apparently, poor little Muffy, who has been missing from her family’s Brisbane, Australia home for the past 9 years, was recently found 1200 miles away in Melbourne, Australia. Although it is not clear how the little pooch managed to make her way down the Australian coast, it is thanks to the tiny microchip in her neck that Muffy will be reunited with her original owner, who is thrilled to have her back.



1, 2, 3, *collective sigh*

It's the Small Things...

Sometimes  most times, I lose sight of the small things in the jumble and bumble of my everyday life. Sure I’m busy. Sure my ‘to do’ list is extensive and seems to be never ending. I know that all of my cruddy bills won’t pay themselves. I know that the constant nagging from family, friends, coworkers, clients and random strangers won’t spontaneously cease (neither will mine mind you!). But on really crappy days, I find myself asking whether any of this actually matters. Will I have a better day, a better life, if I tell off the schmuck who has cut in front of me in the grocery store line up? Probably not; although, I might temporarily feel better...until my mega guilt complex kicks in.



So, what actually does matter? To steal a cliché, I’d have to say that it is the small things that count. I know that I feel like a million bucks after I’ve snuggled with my puppy Cosby. I know that giving change to someone who needs it makes me feel humble and grateful and satisfied. I know that catching the eye of the cute pharmacist in the drug store makes me feel giddy and silly and seventeen again. I know that my family and friends, with their love and support, will help me to overcome almost anything that stands in my way.


I wish that I could promise to find the small things in every situation, but let’s be realistic; I’m a stressed out complainer like almost everyone else. What I can do though, is try to at least look for them. And when I can’t, I’ll bake a batch of double chocolate brownies, ‘cause chocolate makes almost every situation better!

H1N1 Whaaaaa?

Ok. I am SO not in the mood to listen to the H1N1 rhetoric, conspiracy theories, potential cures etc... Why? Because I'm sick. Do I have H1N1? Probably. I didn't get my H1N1 shot, so the chances are pretty good that I do, perhaps have the H1N1 flu. I have many of the symptoms: cough, headache, body aches, lack of appetite...so, it is pretty apparent that I might (or might not) have H1N1 (or the regular old' flu, or a bad cold or something else altogether). I also heard that somebody who attends the same college as me had the H1N1 virus, so, you never know... And at the University where I work, I overheard someone talking about some people who might have the flu virus --probably H1N1, -- which means that, if they have it, then anybody could get it, and you know what that means don't you? No?



It means that I'm sick.


It means that, regardless of what I have, I need to stay home in my warm fuzzy PJs.


It means that I need to keep my nasty little germs to myself and try my best to NOT spread them around.


It means that I have to find better things to do with my sick time than panicking over whether I have H1N1.


It means that I get to sleep, read good books, sleep, eat chicken noodle soup, sleep, drink tea and eat cough drops like they're candy and sleep.


At this point in time, it really doesn't matter WHAT I am sick with...the fact remains that I am sick. End of story.


All I need to do now is get better.


H1N1 be damned. I'll worry about you again when I'm well.



  

Big T versus little t's...what a way to begin!

I am constantly intrigued by the notion of perspective as an individual way of regarding or understanding a situation (or topic, idea etc...) and its ultimate impact on the notion of absolute Truth (that is, Truth with a capital T).



The conclusion that I've come to regarding perspective is that it is ultimately an individual ‘thing’. You, I and the guy next door could all witness the same event, yet in recounting the event, it is highly unlikely that our accounts would match each other perfectly. So, who out of the three of us has told the absolute Truth about the event that we all witnessed? None of us! We have each witnessed the event from our own particular vantage point (physical, emotional, intellectual etc...) and formed our own understanding or perspective of it. We have essentially formed our own version of the truth.

This is not to say that our individual perspectives are wrong (or even right for that matter), but rather that the idea of one absolute Truth is unlikely, if not impossible. Instead, we have a bunch of lesser truths (lesser in the sense that they are not 1 absolute Truth) that we, as individuals, mistake for 'the Truth'!

This is what I find so cool!


By acknowledging that everyone has a different perspective and therefore different truths, I have to acknowledge that I am not a voice of absolute authority (although I usually wish I was). I can't actually say what any particular Truth is. I only know what my truth is. As bizarre as this might sound, I actually do take this as a positive thing. Now I have to make an effort to view a situation (idea, event etc...) from perspectives other than my own.



Now don't get me wrong...just because I try to view things from other peoples’ perspectives, doesn't mean that I have to agree with those people or even appreciate their points of view. Sometimes crap is just that...crap. But at least I can understand that someone else may view what I perceive to be crap, as something valuable and worthwhile. And vice versa.