In Need of a Laugh?

While I was surfing the web earlier, I came across some of “Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts” and I thought that I’d share some of the random ‘wisdom’ that I found. *Warning* The randomness of this humour is funnier than the actual content...but it’s still funny all the same! Enjoy!


“When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.”

“Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!”
 
"The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, 'Go ahead, do whatever you want, it's ok by me.'"
 
"Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear your partner has been turned into Dracula. Next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham! You just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, 'Think again, batman.'"
 
"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."
 
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."


Heehee...stupid, but funny! I hope you had a good laugh!